Confession: I figured out how to battle that task inertia while reducing PDA triggers… using a meme?

Written By Louisa Man

One of the conflicting experiences in AuDHD (the intersection/interplay between being autistic and having Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is:

  1. feeling overwhelmed with 12731928376123 (too many) options, but then

  2. wanting to narrow down options because it feels like being trapped with a limited number of options. PDA* activated!

I found the secret through this meme: the “secret third thing” (secret third option).

The Solution

The solution to help narrow down options while also leaving a possibility for creativity and agency is the secret third option.

You might narrow down all the possibilities into a finite number of options (I start with two):

  • Option A: Something representing one side of possibilities

  • Option B: Something representing another side of possibilities

  • Secret Third Option — TBD

You Get the Best of Both Worlds

  1. You tackle the feeling of overwhelm but narrowing to two possible answers. Some of the time that’s all you need, and you go with the prepackaged options.

  2. You leave yourself a sense of agency and choice. You aren’t trapping yourself to just two options, knowing that you can start with the two and come up with something different later. Sometimes generating the two options reminds you of the thing you actually want to do. Sometimes generating the two options gives you the structure to decide what you like/dislike about each to make your own route.

Would this work for you? Let me know! I can be found on:

List of Acronyms

PDA: An acronym for Pathological Demand Avoidance/ often reframed as Pervasive Demand for Autonomy. It describes an experience of having difficulty with narrowed instructions (e.g., demands; sometimes even from yourself) and wanting agency to be able to choose.

TBD: To be determined

Louisa Man
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